Archive for the ‘Difficult People Types’ Category

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Managing Difficult People and Steps 1 to 2

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010



Managing difficult people requires both skill and persistence. In reality, managing and supervising people in general also requires many skills and much patience and determination.


MANAGING DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND THE 12 STEPS

In the previous difficult people post I mentioned the recent article on managing difficult people and the importance of preparation and planning. I want to expand a little more on each of the 12 steps from this article. Let’s start with the first 2 important steps and we’ll examine the other steps in further blog posts.



STEP 1 IN LISTENING WITH BOTH YOUR EYES AND EARS

In previous dealing with difficult people blog posts we’ve discussed listening with your eyes. Yet many people still do not understand just how important this skill is in handling difficult people. If you were to ask, “what should I concentrate on more – the words someone is saying or their body language?”. The answer is always to focus more on their body language because this makes up over 70% to 80% of how human beings communicate. So listen with your eyes to the body language of the other person. It will tell you so much more about the true meaning behind the words that another person is using. Work on becoming a listener with your eyes.



STEP 2 IN DECIDING TO NOT IGNORE IT ALL

When dealing with conflict, a large number of people hope that it all just goes away. They attempt to use an approach that is based on the idea that if I ignore it, then it will eventually go away. This does not often happen. Most often ignoring the conflict and difficult people in your life makes the situation much worse. Tension, stress, anger and anxiety builds up over time and makes the whole process more intense and eventually boils over. So no matter how much you would like to avoid handling difficult people – don’t. Decide now to no longer ignore conflict situations and develop a plan on how you are going to go about dealing with difficult people. Really ignorance is certainly not bliss in handling difficult people.



MORE IN DEALING WITH PEOPLE

In the next post we’ll explore more of ideas and steps for you in managing difficult people, whether they are found in your personal or working life.





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DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK AND THE TIMEOUT STRATEGY

Sunday, March 7th, 2010



Dealing with difficult people and more on difficult people…



Dealing with Difficult People at Work can involve a range of strategies and techniques. In previous writings I have talked about dealing with people when you need to remain calm and composed. One method to help you in dealing with difficult people is to use the ‘time out strategy’.



USING THIS STRATEGY IN COPING WITH PEOPLE

This time out strategy can be used and expanded upon when dealing with difficult people at work who continually interrupt you when trying to communicate with them. This technique can also be very effective in assisting you in handling friends and family.



THE ARTICLE ON DEALING WITH PEOPLE

You can read the full difficult people article on this strategy now. Or you can watch the presentation that also presents the time out strategy to use in working with difficult people who are interrupters. Enjoy the presentation…


Dealing With Difficult People at Work and The Timeout Strategy



DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK AND AT HOME

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DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND VERY POWERFUL WORDS ON DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010



Dealing with difficult people and more ideas about difficult people for you…


COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY SYSTEM

After the previous posts about how to deal with difficult people in the family system.  These thoughts were sent in by Katherine.   As they were included in a previous post you might have missed them so I wanted to make sure you had a chance to see what Katherine had to say…



WISE WORDS FROM KATHERINE

I have found controlling, co-dependent people a real big challenge.  Having grown up in this environment and deciding to make changes over a number of years in myself (as these changes do not come easy) the task has been extremely difficult.  Especially with family members and partners .. .



COMMENT FROM DR JUDY

Katherine is especially right about how hard it can be with those closer to you such as family members and partners.  As compared to dealing with difficult people at work.  Why?  Because these people know all the right buttons to push for you, since they often know you better than acquaintances and work colleagues.



GO ON KATHERINE WE’RE ALL LISTENING

This year the red flags were so strong I became quite anxious when I didn’t listen to my warning bells.  I am now having to learn to tell people exactly how their actions affect me and what I am willing to put up with and am not.   It is the most difficult thing I have had to do ever.



COMMENT FROM DR JUDY

What Katherine is doing is establishing what I often call, her ’stress boundaries’.  These boundaries are very important to looking after you and reducing your stress.  It is very challenging to do, especially if others are not used to you saying assertively what you will or will not do for them.



MORE THOUGHTS FROM KATHERINE

No more distancing behaviours, angry outbursts.  I have to be clear and non-judgmental and then let the other person try to change.  I have lost a partner and a couple of friends…but those who have listened and thanked me for advising – our relationships have become stronger.  I feel more empowered…but I still have bouts of insomnia and anxiety after doing this.  I hope it will diminish as I become accustomed to asking for my needs to be met.



YOU GO KATHERINE – THAT IS GREAT STUFF

The clearer you become about your boundaries and your needs then the more empowered you become.  There are some people who will never adapt to you speaking up and looking after you. Although, I don’t know the details of the situations you have described, your commitment to yourself now is wonderful.  You go for it and you’ll gain more confidence as you go.



WHAT ABOUT YOU IN COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE?

Any thoughts you would like to share on dealing with difficult people?  Any comments about what Katherine has shared?  We’d be delighted to read your thoughts so click on the comments button below and add your words of wisdom.



MORE ADVANCED IDEAS ON DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Do you need more advanced ideas on dealing with people, especially those very frustrating people at work and in your personal life?  Then do make sure to check out our PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP opportunities and our great DEALING WITH PEOPLE packages right now.  The benefits are great for you at this link http://nodifficultpeople.com/products.htm





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